Counter Assault
by ExquisiteEdward
Summary: She stole my heart the moment I saw her traipsing in front of that counter. Now how do I win hers and make her see that I am the only man for her? She's been hurt, I know that. And I don't have much to offer her other than my heart, which she owns completely. I'm going to lay it all on the line for her, and I have a few tricks up my sleeve to convince her I'm worth it.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: I have to write the funny. Hehe. ;)) This story will be entirely in Edward's point of view.**

**Thanks to Lfcpam, JayNahNah, and betsmecullen for being so awesome and for reading this thing multiple times. I love you guys. ;))**

**SM owns Twilight.**

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_**COUNTER ASSAULT**_

_**CHAPTER 1**_

_**EPOV**_

I wadded the wrapper from my burrito that I'd just downed for breakfast into a ball and aimed at the sink. I grinned in satisfaction at my perfect bank shot off the window. My trash can was buried somewhere so the sink would have to do for now.

Grabbing my coat, I walked around the boxes piled in my living room, looking for my shoes because I had to get over to the diner. _"Fuck you,"_ I snarled when I caught my toe on a damn box and almost busted my ass.

I locked up the house and climbed into my car, literally. I turned the ignition and…nothing. Narrowing my eyes, I turned and turned and turned that fucker and still nothing. "You goddamn piece of shit," I yelled, banging my fist hard against the steering wheel. I immediately winced and grabbed my hand, holding it to my chest even more pissed off than I was to begin with because now not only was I out of wheels, but my hand hurt like hell.

The driver's side door of my thirty-year-old Volvo was broken and wouldn't open so I had to haul my 6' 2" frame over the gear shift to the passenger side to get out of the stupid fucking thing. Once I crawled out – being careful I didn't rip my nuts off – I angrily slammed the door shut as hard as I could. My eyes narrowed as a big chunk of rust dropped from the door onto the driveway. I really fucking hated that car.

I plunked my ass on the steps to the house that I'd just moved into and stared at that damn Volvo.

The longer I sat the more pissed off I got.

"Hey there, how are ya?" I heard a male voice call out. I looked up to see an old homely guy approaching me.

"Hey," I replied, a bit wary.

"I live across the street," he said as he thumbed towards the house behind him. "I'm Waylon Forge."

He stuck out a hand covered in liver spots; I stood and shook it. "Edward Cullen."

"Good to meet ya. Saw the moving truck here yesterday, but didn't get a chance to come over. Where ya from?"

"Seattle."

"Hmm…" he said, scratching the top of his mostly bald head. "What made you move to Forks?"

Inquisitions were not something that I particularly enjoyed participating in. I could see the old guy just wanted to be nice and neighborly, but I was in a foul mood and didn't feel like chatting it up.

"Um, there were a few reasons," I hedged. "Hey, do you know anything about cars?"

"Sure do. What seems to be the problem?"

"I don't know. It won't start," I said popping open the hood for him. Within ten minutes old Waylon had diagnosed my problem: I needed a new starter.

"I guess I'll have to have it towed somewhere…" I frowned, rubbing the back of my neck and looking around, trying to figure out what the hell to do next. I didn't know a single thing about the town I'd just moved to, and I sure as hell didn't know shit about a starter.

"Well, I'll tell ya what. If you go buy a starter, I'll put it in for ya, no charge. Though, by how old this hunk-a-junk looks, it's probably gonna take a few days for it to come in."

I stared at the old guy for a moment, and that's when I noticed he had some kind of a weird tick going on. Every few seconds, he would scrunch his nose up like a rabbit. Twice, real quick-like. I tried not to stare, but found myself unable to stop. "Oh, no, I couldn't do that. I'd have to pay you something."

"Nonsense," he said. "You'll find living in a small town is a lot different than the big city. We always try to look out for each other here."

He unclipped a giant set of keys from his belt and took one of them off before handing it to me. "I own the marina down at the lake, and I gotta run down there real quick. Somebody was out fishing and their boat stalled on 'em so I gotta haul 'em back in. This key is to my old truck over there." He motioned towards a beat-up green clunker sitting in his driveway. "Take it into town and order a starter. I'll put it in for ya when it comes in."

He rattled off directions to a _Swan Automotive_ and then took off for the marina. I climbed into his beat-up Ford pick-up truck and grabbed my nose when I got a whiff of what smelled like rank body odor mixed with a little rotten fish tossed up with a side of some jacked-up feet. I rolled the windows down, freezing my nads off and breathed only through my mouth. I definitely exceeded the speed limit on more than one occasion in my haste to get the fuck out of that truck.

I decided I would take Waylon up on his offer to fix my car, but I'd force some money on the old man for the work. I had to get my car fixed somehow and cash was a bit scarce at the moment.

The automotive store was easy to find. As I pulled into a front row spot, I saw a guy who looked to be about my age sitting in a lawn chair facing the big glass window of the store. He was a huge dude and had his hands spread out flat against the glass with his nose smashed against the window. He resembled an overgrown, steroid-injected kid looking into a candy store. I frowned, confused as hell because it was one of the weirdest fucking things I'd ever seen. What in the hell could the guy be looking at? He had to be freezing his ass off since it couldn't have been more than thirty degrees outside.

I glanced around and didn't see another single soul in sight. And I could not for the life of me figure out what the guy was staring at inside an automotive store of all places. Did he have a thing for oil filters or some shit?

As I stood there and continued to gawk at him, I noticed what looked like several large signs of some sort leaning against the window beside him. I just shook my head. Forks seemed to be plum full of fucking lunatics.

When I got to the entrance of the store, I paused before entering, staring at the odd dude one last time. He never once looked in my direction. It was some really strange shit. He just sat there staring, completely transfixed on something inside that store, and my curiosity was killing me. I followed his line of sight to see if I could figure out what the weirdo was staring at and…that's when I saw her. And damn, if she wasn't a sight to behold. My cock reared his nosy head and stood up, trying to get a closer look at her with me.

Fuck me, all I could see was legs...long, bare naked legs.

Creamy, pearl-colored skin, curvy calves and silky thighs...

Sky high black stilettos…

And a way too tight black skirt, hugging a perfectly round, bite-worthy little ass.

She wore a black and white T-shirt – definitely a size too small – outlining some perfectly perky tits.

Her long, dark hair flowed down her back, curling softly at the ends.

I had to take back every negative thought I had about the creeper sitting outside the window. No wonder that guy had a front row seat. Where the hell was _my _lawn chair because my nosey cock and I wanted to take up residence right next to the dude and enjoy the spectacular view.

My heart started doing all kinds of funky shit in my chest as I watched in kind of a stunned daze as she walked slow and sexy in front of the counter before disappearing behind it. Did she work there? Because who the hell wears something like that to work in an automotive store in the middle of winter? Eagerly, I yanked open the door, ready to find out more about the sexpot I'd just seen.

As I approached the desk, I frowned because she was nowhere in sight. I could swear I had just seen that superhot chick go behind the counter.

I leaned over it and my lips instantly curled up as I stared down at her. She was hunkered down behind the counter, sitting on a small step stool. Those sexy heels of hers were kicked off, lying on the floor in front of her. She had one leg crossed over the other, furiously massaging her small foot. Even her little toes were cute, the tips painted some sort of tempting red color. All the while she had ear buds in her ears, singing loud and horrifically off-key to Kelly Clarkson's _Since U Been Gone_.

I felt out of breath, and could not stop smiling. She was a total knock-out and really fucking adorable all packed into one hot little package.

She looked up at me, her eyes widening before she let out a shriek of terror. It was so loud and unexpected that it scared the hell out of me. I responded by letting out a small yell myself, but I kept it manly. Yeah, it was a manly sort of yell.

With a tug on her ear buds, she put her hand on her heaving chest. I tried really hard to not watch her tits as they moved up and down, but my misbehaving eyes went there anyway.

"Oh my god, you scared me half to death," she said before standing and letting out the cutest giggle. The sound caused a weird fluttering feeling in my gut. Or it might have been that leftover burrito I had for breakfast. Without those fuck-me-sideways heels on, she was quite tiny. I towered over her by at least a foot. I liked it. It made me feel more masculine after that probably-not-so-manly yell I just let rip.

"Sorry," I said with a chuckle. "I didn't mean to scare you."

She grinned back and shrugged. "That's okay. I kind of get wrapped up in my music sometimes. What can I help you with?"

She continued smiling at me as she leaned her elbows on the counter, waiting patiently for an answer. The movement pushed her tits together, and I wondered what her cleavage looked like under that tight shirt she sported. And what it would feel like to run my tongue over her creamy flesh.

When I finally made myself stop fantasizing about her tits, I remembered her question. And for some reason, I had absolutely no fucking idea what the hell I was in there for. So I just stood there, smiling at her like a fucking dumbass.

She smiled even wider and peeked around my shoulder. "Um, do you need something for your truck? Wait a minute, isn't that Waylon's truck?"

I turned and looked behind me and finally came back to my senses. "Oh, yeah…he let me borrow it. So what's with that guy at the window?"

"Oh. That's Jacob," she said nonchalantly. "So what can I help you with?"

I looked back at the Jacob dude who was watching us intently. I found it to be a bit disturbing. "Why is he sitting out there like that? Is he on strike or something?"

She giggled again. It was such an attractive sound. It made me feel funny. "No, he's just being his douchebag self," she said before she bent down and pulled out a pair of soft-looking, wooly black socks from underneath the counter. I watched as she quickly tugged them on her feet. Out next came a black hooded sweatshirt that she slipped over her head. On the front of it in bright red letters was _Swan Automotive_.

I was so disappointed that she was covering up her cute little feet and perky tits, but I got over that shit quick when I saw what she did next. Using both hands, she gathered her hair together and pulled it out of her sweatshirt, letting it spill down her back. For a moment, I couldn't breathe. It was like I was watching one of those suntan commercials with the babe in the waterfall except this babe was covered up and the background was windshield wipers and motor oil. Nothing about her actions was the least bit sensual. She was just throwing on some socks and a sweatshirt and fixing her hair. But for some damn reason, I found her every movement to be erotic. My cock was watching too, and he definitely liked what he saw.

I cleared my throat, thankful that my happy cock was hidden behind the counter. "Why is he a douchebag?"

She tilted her head, tucking her hair behind her ear as she stared at me. "You're not from around here, are you?"

"No, I just moved here yesterday."

She nodded. "Well, if you lived here, you'd know why." Her hands slipped into the front of her sweatshirt. She didn't offer me anything else on the matter, but I couldn't let it go. I needed more information.

"Is he stalking you or something?"

She threw her head back and laughed. It was adorable, her laughter. Everything about her was adorable, and sexy. "Yes, he is definitely stalking me."

I turned my head and glared at Jacob, the douchebag stalker. I was ready to shove my foot up his creepy stalking ass. My glare turned to disbelief when he grabbed a sign and held it up to the window. It had '_I'm sorry. I love you'_ written in large, black messy letters. I turned back to the beautiful girl in front of me and gave her a 'what the hell was that?' look.

A small smile kissed her lips as she simply shrugged at me.

"Why don't you call the police and have that jackass hauled off?"

"I will eventually, but until then, I actually want him stalking me."

I scowled as I studied her face for a moment. "Why would you want someone to stalk you? Do you have a thing for him or something?"

She shook her head. "Definitely not."

"Is it like a… fetish?" Was she into some kind of kinky role playing? I could be a creepy stalker for her if she was into that kind of shit. And I could definitely make some signs.

I was dead serious with my question, but she threw her head back and laughed so hard that it got me tickled so I ended up laughing with her. She was so fucking cute laughing like that. Once again, I could feel that weird sensation in my stomach. I was never going to eat a leftover burrito for breakfast ever again. She giggled as she wiped at the corner of her eyes. "Not a fetish. I want him to suffer. The douche cheated on me, and he needs to pay for what he's done."

That prick cheated on her? What a stupid fucking jackass. I turned around and gave him another glare before I finally looked back at the gorgeous girl before me. "How long has he been stalking you?"

"Five days."

My mouth dropped open. "How long does he sit out there?"

"For however long my shift is."

"He stays out there the entire time?"

"Yep."

"Doesn't he have a job?" What kind of loser was this guy?

"Yeah, he works for his dad. His family has a lot of money so he doesn't really have to work."

I hated the fucker even more.

"Are you going to take him back, after you've punished him?" I asked.

"No way, he cheated. I just like making him suffer." Her pretty little cheeks turned rosy and she looked a little bashful as her fingers toyed with the edge of the counter. "I know it seems kind of weird, but every day I dress in something sexy and prance around letting him know what he's missing. It's kind of my way of getting back at him."

"He must have shit for brains if he cheated on you."

She threw me a sizzling half-grin that made my knees a little weak. Thank goodness I was holding onto the counter. "Exactly," she said. "I know I'm no bombshell or anything, but I'm not too sickening to look at."

"Hardly," I replied. She was a total bombshell and a complete knockout and had definitely knocked me on my ass.

We stared at each other until it started to get uncomfortable. I looked down at my shoes and rubbed the back of my neck. "Oh. Uh, I need to buy a starter."

"Sure," she said. I gave her the year, make and model of my car. She looked it up on the computer and of course they didn't have it in stock. They could order it, but it would take three days to get it. I told her to order it.

"Your name?" she asked with a cute twinkle in her eyes.

"Cullen, Edward Cullen." The corners of her mouth tipped up before she typed it into the computer. I gave her my address and cell. She printed me off a receipt and handed it to me.

"We'll call you as soon as it comes in."

"Thanks." I shoved the receipt in my coat pocket and stared at her. I didn't want to leave so I needed to come up with something.

I quickly cleared my throat. "You know I was thinking…there is another way you could get back at that douchebag."

She leaned closer to me and grinned. "And that would be…?"

"You could use somebody to make him jealous," I said wiggling my eyebrows and giving her my sexiest grin.

Her smile slowly faded as she pushed away from the counter looking annoyed. I frowned, instantly regretting my words. "I don't think so. I don't play those kinds of games, and trust me I've had just about every guy in this town offer to do that for me already."

Well, shit.

The phone next to the register rang. "I need to answer that. We'll call you when your starter comes in." She nodded and gave me a forced smile before she turned her back to me, answering the phone.

I'd just been dismissed.

I stood there for a minute, nervously drumming my fingers on the counter, debating what to do. I felt like a dick. I don't know what possessed me to say that to her. I was just trying to flirt with her or… I don't know what the hell I was trying to do. I stared at her unbelievable ass and spectacular legs for a few seconds longer before I finally decided to leave before my mouth got me into any more trouble.

As I walked towards the door, the stalker no longer stared at the beauty behind the counter. His hatred-filled eyes were all on me. I glared back at him with as much nasty as I could conjure.

On my way back home as my ears started to get frostbite from hanging my head out the window of Waylon's funked-up ride, all I could think about was that incredible girl behind the counter.

And how I had opened my idiotic mouth and shoved my ratty Converse inside and managed to fuck shit up.

I had to make it up to her.

I would, and soon. I just didn't know how yet.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Thank you for all of your reviews. Please know I read and cherish each and every one of them. ;)**

**I have a new beta! Thank you to Halo221. And thank you always to my fabulously beautiful group of pre-readers Lfcpam, JayNahNah and betsmecullen.**

**SM owns Twilight.**

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_**COUNTER ASSAULT**_

_**CHAPTER 2**_

I hung around the house, unpacking some boxes while I waited on Waylon to get back from doing whatever he had to do at the marina. He stopped by a short time later and told me I could keep his truck until the starter came in. I have to admit I was starting to like the generous old guy, weird tick and all.

I decided to head to the diner again, which had been my original destination before all of this shit happened with my car. I hopped into Waylon's truck and immediately wished I had a gas mask or some nose plugs to shield me from the deadly fumes. And once again, I had to roll the windows down and hang my head out the window like a damn poodle to keep from suffocating.

To get to the diner, I had to drive past _Swan Automotive_ and of course that douchebag cheating creeper was still sitting out there in his lawn chair. I ignored him and took my foot off the accelerator and let the truck coast really slow as my eyes strained hard through the open passenger side window to try to get a glimpse of that hot chick behind the counter. When my eyes finally caught sight of her brunette hair, I swear my heart skipped a beat, a whole fucking beat. I frowned, rubbing my chest worried that I might need to go see a cardiologist.

The creeper stalker chose that moment to turn around and glare at me. I hadn't even noticed it, but I was stopped dead in the middle of the road. I leaned over and my face split into a wicked grin as I flipped the asshole the bird. He mouthed something in response that I couldn't quite make out before turning back around.

"_Dumb fuck,_" I mumbled under my breath.

I let my eyes linger a moment longer on the beauty at the counter before I finally took off. The diner ended up being only a couple of blocks away from the automotive store, which I will admit excited me, and my cock.

I pulled into a parking space, turned off the truck and just stared. The diner was a throwback straight out of the 50's. It had a neon sign at the top with 'Diner' outlined in red and the exterior looked like it used to be shiny aluminum, now dingy with dirt and age.

I got out of the truck and walked towards the side door where a sign with 'Now Hiring' printed on it hung sideways. It looked like it had been hanging there for years. I frowned at the hours: _Open daily from 6 a.m. to 6 p.m. and closed on Mondays_. Those were some strange hours compared to the 'open all night' venues I was used to in Seattle.

I pushed open the door and a bell above my head rang, alerting my entrance. I could hear Ella Fitzgerald playing softly in the background and before I could even take a step, I got hit with the smell of homemade pie and fried chicken. It smelled so damn good it made my stomach rumble.

On my right was a line of ten or so red stools facing the counter, half of which were occupied. On my left was a handful of red booths facing the front of the diner and filled with customers. The tiny place was packed. I made my way to the counter and sat. The guy a couple of stools over from me looked up and muttered a hello. I smiled and nodded in response just as a chick with big, curly 80's hair placed a menu in front of me, chewing gum like a horse. My eyes located her name tag which read "Jessica." Her tan-colored cotton work shirt was so tight that the straining buttons looked like they might pop at any second.

"Oh, hi," she said in a breathy voice, giggling and batting her eyelashes at me. Her eyes were outlined in thick black eyeliner slightly smudged underneath, and her lids were painted a deep blue. "I'm Jessica. Would you like some coffee?"

"Yeah, black."

She grinned, showing some red lipstick on her teeth before turning and grabbing the coffee pot behind her. I swallowed down a gag when I saw she had a muffin top spilling over the top of her sprayed-on jeans. I picked up the menu as she poured me a cup. "Thanks," I said with a nod.

"I know I've never seen you around here before because if I had, I'd definitely remember you," she said, gushing and loudly chomping her gum. "Are you just passing through?"

Just great…could I get any more unlucky?

"Nope," I said, continuing to study the menu.

"Are you visiting someone?"

"Nope," I said eyes still on the menu.

"Well, I know you couldn't have moved here because who moves to Forks?" she said, laughing hysterically at herself.

I ignored her. "What are your specials?" I asked my eyes still focused on the menu.

"Oh, well, our specials for today are chicken and dumplings and chicken fried steak."

I slapped the menu shut. "I'll have the chicken and dumplings. What kind of pie do you have?" I asked eyeing the covered pie plates at the end of the counter.

"Peach, cherry, and blackberry."

"I'll have the cherry."

Damn it, I should have ordered the blackberry because her nauseating giggle laced with innuendo made my skin crawl. "A la mode?" she asked raising one eyebrow, trying to be sexy or something but only managing to make me cringe.

"Yeah, that's fine."

I handed her my menu. She grinned and giggled again before scribbling down my order and ripping the page from the book in her hand. She turned and tucked it onto a circular metal wheel with clips on it before turning the contraption around for the kitchen. A moment later a hand swiftly reached out through the small window to the kitchen and grabbed the ticket.

I took a sip of my coffee and started looking around the busy diner. The floors were black and white checkered, and there were black and white photographs on the walls. One in particular caught my attention. I studied it for a minute before the corner of my mouth turned upwards.

I looked around at the patrons eating and everyone seemed to be having a good time and enjoying their food. Jessica was the only waitress, and although incredibly annoying and overly flirtatious, she seemed to be handling the workload efficiently. She kept staring at me and every time our eyes met – purely by accident on my part – she'd grin like she'd just won the lottery. It was hard not to roll my eyes at her.

I took another sip of my coffee and caught a glimpse of the cook's body as a plate was shoved into the window, but I still couldn't see a face.

Jessica grabbed my plate of food from the window and set it in front of me. "Chicken and dumplings, better than your grandma could ever make," she said, smiling with that annoying giggle again. "Do you want some more coffee or would you like a soda or something?"

"I'll take a Coke."

"Sure, I'll be right back," she said before clearing her throat. "Anything else I can get you?" she asked in a low voice trying to be seductive. I was surprised she didn't jump over the counter and try to straddle me.

I kept my eyes on my plate. "No, I'm good."

I picked up my fork and almost drooled over the delicious-smelling plate that sat in front of me. I stuck my fork into the chicken and dumplings, and when I put that first bite into my mouth, I swear I fucking moaned at how good it tasted. I think my eyes even rolled back.

"Good, huh?" Jessica asked a moment later, placing a Coke next to my coffee cup.

I hummed and nodded in agreement, grabbing my napkin to wipe my mouth. I ate the food nice and slow, savoring every bite. If I'd been alone, I would have licked the damn plate.

She brought the pie that tasted even better than the chicken and dumplings. I paid the bill and stared in disbelief at her phone number that she'd scribbled on the receipt. I tossed it into the trash and headed towards the kitchen.

"Wait, you can't go back there," Jessica said, grabbing my arm and staring up at me in confusion.

I pulled my arm away from her grip. "Uh, yes I can."

"No, you can't. Nobody but staff is allowed back there."

"Well, since I own this place, I think I have permission to go check out my kitchen."

"What? You what? You own this place?"

"Sure do. I'm now officially your boss. Oh, and I'm Edward Cullen, by the way," I said, holding out my hand to her.

She stared at my hand before her eyes darted to my eyes then back at my hand again. She slowly reached her hand out. "I, I'm Jessica Stanley," she stammered.

"Nice to meet you," I said before lowering my voice, "and no more flirting. You can cut that shit out right now. If it continues, I'll fire you. Do we have an understanding?"

Her face turned bright red. "I, uh, I wasn't flirting."

"Yes, you were. It ends today, got it?"

"I, um, well, okay."

"Good," I said. "Now who's the manager?"

"Mike Newton."

"Where is he?"

"Um, he didn't show up today."

Hmm…that was something I'd have to take care of along with enforcing a new dress code. Those sweatshirts like the ones at _Swan Automotive_ should do the trick. "How many waitresses are there?"

"Just two, me and Tanya," she said.

At my raised eyebrow, she quickly added, "Denali. Tanya Denali."

I nodded. "Oh, and get rid of the gum. That's really annoying," I said before pushing the swinging half-door to the kitchen open.

The kitchen was small, really only big enough for one person. It had an old, industrial-sized stove with six burners, all with either a pot boiling or a skillet on it. Next to that sat a flat top with hamburgers popping and sizzling along with a few strips of bacon. There were two deep fryers filled with fries and onion rings and on the opposite wall was a small prep area with freshly chopped vegetables sitting on a cutting board.

"What the hell do you want?" a voice growled at me. "You can't be with the health department because you assholes were just here, and I passed that shit with flying colors. There ain't a kitchen cleaner in the whole state of fucking Washington than mine, I'll tell you that right now."

I pulled my eyes away from the counter and focused on the person in front of me and I almost busted out laughing. It was Aunt Bee from _The Andy Griffith Show _in the flesh, blue apron included, only shorter and with one hell of a scowl. With the way she talked, I wouldn't have been surprised if she had 'sailor' tattooed on her upper arm. I grinned and took a step towards her. "No, I'm definitely not with the health department," I said with a chuckle. "I'm Edward Cullen. My great aunt left me this place."

I held my hand out to her. She ignored it and her scowl deepened. "Maggie didn't have any family."

I dropped my hand. "I didn't know I had a great aunt until somebody contacted me."

She took a step closer, studying me intently. "Hmm…well, shit fire that had to be a shock."

I grinned. "It most certainly was."

She took in a deep breath. "Maggie hung onto this place until the end, that stubborn old coot. She refused to sell even when she got bad. I hated seeing her sell that house of hers to pay all those medical bills, those thieving bastard doctors. I hope they burn in hell. Maggie was good people."

"I'm sure she was. I wish I could have met her."

Her eyes narrowed as she stared at me from top to bottom. "So you're going to be my boss, huh, you little runt? You could be my great grandkid running around in his diaper."

I laughed. "Not a chance…you can't be more than twenty-nine, right?"

A big, slow grin spread across her wrinkled face. "I like you, little runt, I like you a lot," she said, sticking her hand out. "I'm Alice Brandon, by the way, the best fucking cook on the western seaboard."

I grinned and shook her hand. "I have to whole-heartedly agree with you after that chicken and dumplings I just devoured."

She slowly nodded and smiled in satisfaction. "That's one of my specialties. It has a secret ingredient," she said mischief brewing in her gray-blue eyes.

"And…?"

"It's not a fucking secret if I tell you, you dumbass," she barked before turning back to her cutting board and picking up a knife.

I busted out laughing because I couldn't help myself. It was so weird hearing that kind of language come out of that Aunt Bee body.

I laughed so hard I had to wipe the corners of my eyes. "Well, I just wanted to stop by today to check in and get a feel for things. I look forward to working with you." I looked around unsure of what to say next. "Do you need anything?"

She turned towards me holding a butcher knife in the air, her eyes squinting. I backed the hell up fast, almost stumbling over my feet in the process. "Runt, I've worked here for fifty-five fucking years. Do you think I need anything?"

I held my hands up in surrender. "Okay, okay," I said with a chuckle. "You and I are going to have a lot of fun together, Alice Brandon."

She held the knife up a little higher, shaking her head. "These kids nowadays…" she muttered before turning back to her cutting board.

I continued smiling as I located the office, which wasn't much bigger than a small bathroom and scoped things out, trying to get familiar with everything. I had no fucking clue how to run a diner, but seriously, how hard could it be? I'd figure it out somehow.

On my way out, I checked out the picture that had caught my attention earlier. It was a photograph of Maggie taken decades ago when she was young and vibrant on the day she opened the diner. Pride emanated from her. Even though we had never met, I wanted to somehow make her proud and continue her legacy.

I got in the truck and hung my head out the window once again, my cheeks flapping in the wind. As I approached the automotive store, my heart started acting up so much so that I had to pound on it with my fist. The douchebag creeper was nowhere to be seen, and I felt a little dejected because I knew that meant the beauty was gone too. I stopped in the middle of the street and strained to see if I could see her, but the counter was empty.

As I continued driving, I pictured her beautiful face in my mind and tried to think of an excuse to see her tomorrow. I got hit with an idea and grinned, the cold wind whistling through my teeth.

I was in dire need of a couple or maybe a dozen air fresheners. In reality, I might need to buy out their entire stock.

My first stop tomorrow would be _Swan Automotive_…

…To make a purchase from, and hopefully a better impression on, that beautiful girl behind the counter.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: I have some people to thank. Thanks to Fallingsnow Winter who made me an awesome banner for **_**Parched**_** and this story. I'll add them to my profile page but for now you can find them on FB. And I also got to chat about this story and **_**Parched **_**with the FicSisters. The article is on their website at . ficsisters 2014/03/14/ eternally-exquisite/ - just get rid of the spaces. They are an amazing group of ladies so go check them out. Ms. Swan's Bookstore also did a lovely review of **_**My Devil**_**. So lots of exciting things and thank you to everyone involved.**

**Many thanks as always to my fantastic group of ladies: Lfcpam, JayNahNah, and betsmecullen. And thanks to my beta, Halo221, who challenges me to become a better writer.**

**SM owns Twilight.**

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_**COUNTER ASSAULT**_

_**CHAPTER 3**_

My eyes snapped open and I panted like a race horse as my heart tried to chisel its way out of my chest. _"Holy shit,"_ I mumbled, turning off the alarm on my phone and flopping back onto the bed. Thank fuck my alarm went off because I don't know how much more of that nightmare I could have endured. I was dreaming I had that hot chick up on the counter of the automotive store fucking her into next week when all of a sudden her face morphed into Alice's wrinkled old hag mug. She pressed a butcher knife to my neck and shouted, "Faster, Runt, faster."

I shivered in revulsion and tossed the covers off before I slowly sat up on the side of the bed. I rubbed the back of my neck and looked down at my cock. "Dude, it was Alice. You were there. What the fuck is wrong with you?" He just stared stiffly up at me with that one eye. Apparently, Alice didn't bother him one bit. He was still hung up on that hot chick spread out on the counter, the girl whose name I didn't even know. Guess she'd have to be "Hot Chick" or "Counter Girl" to me until I found out her name.

Sighing, I got up off the bed and slowly made my way into the bathroom. I turned on the shower and while I waited for the water to heat up, I thought about last night. I'd spent the remainder of the evening unpacking with flashes of Hot Chick's legs, ass, and tits running through my mind nonstop, tormenting the hell out of me. I needed some relief. I stepped in, reached for the soap to make some suds, and grabbed my cock in my hand. Closing my eyes, I began to stroke myself nice and slow from the base to the tip as I started to slip into fucking fantasyland.

_I pictured myself pulling up in front of the automotive store in a Lamborghini. No, too flashy. I needed something sleek, something masculine like a…Aston Martin Vanquish. Oh yeah, that car gets the pussies wet. I slowly opened the door to my silver pussy-attracting ride and stepped out of it, raking my hand through my hair and knowing that the girl behind the counter was already wet for me. Jacob the loser douchebag stalker sat at the window again so I quickly kicked his ass and sent him off to the hospital before I flung open the door to the automotive store._

_I stepped inside, feeling like a dangerously sexy 007 with confidence oozing from every inch of my tall, muscular body. Hot Chick was leaning against the counter, panting and so hot for me after watching me kick that fucker's ass and of course because of my wheels. My eyes raked over her incredible body in that skimpy black outfit and fuck-my-pussy heels. Her teeth bit softly into her plump lower lip as she motioned 'come here' with her finger like a dirty little sex kitten. Walking towards her like a predator, I dropped my coat, ripped my shirt in half, and unzipped my jeans. She gasped at my huge cock and told me it was twice the size of Jacob's before slowly licking her lips like she couldn't wait to take me into her mouth._

_I grabbed her, crashing my mouth against hers, and pressed her soft little body against the counter. My hand slowly slid up her silky thigh until I came in contact with that tight, perfect ass of hers. I squeezed it, desperate to sink my teeth into that soft, round, little ass cheek when my fingers came in contact with her G-string. _

"_Fuck…"_ I groaned, my cum spurting out thickly. Squeezing my eyes shut, I breathed heavily as I milked every last drop before I slumped against the cold tiles. My weak, wobbly legs barely held me up, and I felt like a fucking pussy. Damn it, that chick turned me on so badly that I couldn't even hold out for the good part. I couldn't even get the girl undressed for fuck's sake.

I stayed in the shower until it turned cold and then quickly got dressed. I decided to eat breakfast at the diner since it was still early. I knew _Swan Automotive_ didn't open until ten so I'd have to make a trip over there in a couple of hours. My hair looked like shit yesterday from riding around in Waylon's truck with my head hanging out the window so I grabbed my favorite baseball hat and put it on backwards.

My heart started pounding the closer I got to the automotive store. I think I had developed some kind of weird Pavlovian response to that place. I stopped in the middle of the street and stared at the darkened windows and empty parking lot wishing like hell it was ten o'clock already.

Sighing, I took off and drove the remaining short distance to the diner. I parked, pulled down the visor, and checked the mirror, worried that I might have icicles in my nose hairs. With nothing dangling, I adjusted my baseball cap, flipped the visor back up, and left the windows down in the hope that it would help air out some of the stench.

I opened the door to the diner and got hit with the smell of bacon and biscuits. Smiling, I closed my eyes and took in another big whiff. Owning a diner was definitely going to have its advantages. A couple of old guys were sitting on the stools and one booth was taken. A different waitress stood behind the counter loading a tray full of food. As I approached her, she looked up at me with a startled expression on her face. I didn't think I had scared her so it seemed a little odd to me.

"Hi, I'm Edward Cullen," I said. "You must be Tanya."

"Oh yeah," she said, looking nervous. "Jessica told me about you. It's nice to meet you."

"You too," I said. She kept her eyes averted, focused on her task, and seemed to be the complete opposite of Jessica. Just the thought of her made me shiver – and not in a good way.

Tanya finished loading the tray and I moved out of the way to let her pass. I stepped through the swinging door to the kitchen and frowned. A small, frail-looking old man stood hunched over a cutting board with long gray hair pulled back into a pony tail and Martin Scorsese glasses on. I stepped closer to him. "Hi, I'm Edward Cullen and you are…?"

"Oh, hi there, I'm Jasper Hale," he said with an infectious grin. He held up his floured hands. "I would shake your hand, young man, but I'm elbows deep in dough. I'm making the noodles for Alice's beef stroganoff."

I chuckled. "No problem. So how many cooks are there? Is it just you and Alice?"

"Oh no," he said with a laugh. "Alice is the one and only cook. And please remember that or she'll make you pay dearly for it. I'm just her lowly prep cook."

I had no idea what a prep cook was. "Uh, what does that mean?"

He smiled and pushed his black-rimmed glasses up with the back of his hand. "I come in early and prep all of the food for her. I cut the vegetables, start the soups, and do any baking she may need. And I also cover the breakfast crowd. Alice comes in around ten each day."

I nodded. "So do you and Alice get along?"

He barked out a loud laugh. "No, we don't, as a matter of fact, and yet somehow we're still married."

My mouth dropped open. "You're married?"

"We sure are, going on fifty-eight years…and before you ask about the last name, she refused to take mine. Hurt my feelings it did, in the beginning. But she's one tough old bird, and I realized that as long as I had her heart, the name didn't matter."

I smiled and nodded thinking what an odd couple those two were.

"Have you had breakfast, kid? How about some biscuits and gravy?" he asked.

"I'd love some," I said, grinning. "I'm starving."

Jasper served me up a heaping plate of spectacular-smelling biscuits and gravy, making my mouth water. I thanked him and made my way back to the counter and sat down.

"Coffee?" Tanya asked her expression serious.

"Black," I said with a grin and a nod. But my brows furrowed when instead of returning my smile, she averted her eyes again. I studied her while she poured my coffee. She reminded me of a younger Robin Wright in her long, flowered skirt and her blonde hair pulled back into a severe bun. Her face didn't seem to have any makeup on it that I could see. I paused when I caught sight of a wedding band on her finger. She seemed too young to be married.

I dug into the biscuits and gravy and struck up a conversation with the old guys at the counter. I found out they were regulars, all retired, and came to the diner daily. They entertained me with funny stories about Maggie and Alice and more on the history of the diner.

Around nine thirty, Alice showed up, walking with a cane. I jumped up and opened the door for her. "Good morning," I greeted her with a wide grin.

Her eyes narrowed into tiny slits. "I can open the goddamn door by myself, Runt," she barked before smacking me hard on the calf with her cane.

"Ow," I said, grabbing my leg. "That shit hurt."

"Good, now get out of my way," she thundered before hobbling around me.

"Oh hell no," I muttered, chasing after her while limping and rubbing my sore leg. "I didn't open the door for you because you walk with a cane, Alice Brandon. I opened the door for you because I was trying to be a gentleman. Now you don't want to disappoint my mother and have all of those years of her teaching me good manners go to waste now, do you?" My mom left me when I was six months old but old Alice didn't need to know that.

She froze, leaning heavily on her cane and stared me down through those small narrowed eyes. I didn't know if I should cower and maybe duck under a booth or try to stand boldly. I chose the middle ground – bent over rubbing my sore calf. After what seemed like an eternity, but in reality was only seconds, the corner of her mouth started twitching. "You're a keeper, Runt. Now move outta my way. I got a lot of cooking to do."

I grinned, relief washing over me, and moved out of her way. I watched her until she passed through the swinging door to the kitchen and that's when I noticed that every single person in the diner was frozen, staring at me with their mouths hanging open. Frowning, I looked around. "What?" I asked.

"Damn, I've never seen a person talk to Alice like that and _live_," one of the old guys at the counter said in awe.

"That was impressive," the guy next to him added.

I shook my head at them before I made my way over to Tanya. "Is she always that grumpy in the mornings?"

"Yeah, usually," she said.

My eyes furrowed. "I think her bark is worse than her bite."

Tanya shrugged in response and looked like she was about to take off. I quickly pulled out my cell phone. "Hey, I need to give you my phone number. What's your cell?"

She rattled it off and I called her, adding her to my contacts.

"I need to get Alice and Jasper's cells too…"

"They don't have cell phones."

"What?"

"You can give your number to Alice and also add it to the cork board in the back. But don't give it to Jasper. He has problems with his memory. It kind of comes and goes."

I had never in my life met a person who didn't have a cell phone. Talk about old school. "Wow, thanks for the heads up."

She nodded and grabbed the coffee pot. I slowly made my way into the kitchen and found Jasper and Alice working quietly side by side. I slipped into my office and located a couple of pieces of paper and wrote my name and phone number down. I posted one of the notes on the cork board and carried the other one over to Alice.

"Here's my cell phone number in case you ever need to get ahold of me, and I also put it on the board over there," I said.

Alice just made a grunting sound which I assumed meant okay. I didn't know where to put my number so I spotted a clean area in the corner and laid it there. Jasper looked up at me. "Oh, why thank you. Now what's your name again, son?"

"It's Edward, but apparently I also answer to 'Runt'."

I smiled when I caught sight of Alice's mouth turning upwards.

"That's a fine name you got there," Jasper said with a grin.

I grinned in response and stepped back into the dining area. The old guys were still talking about my face-off with Alice, and it seemed I had developed a small fan base. I just grinned at them and laughed it off, but I will admit it did my ego some good. We talked for a while longer and I glanced at my watch feeling a thrill of excitement buzz through my body when I saw that ten o'clock had finally arrived. I motioned for Tanya.

"Hey, can you pack me up a piece of peach pie to go?" I asked her.

"Sure," she said with a nod.

Within moments, she brought me the pie. I grabbed it and said goodbye to the old guys. Once inside Waylon's truck, I hung my head out the window and a burst of frigid air hit me, blowing my hat right off my head. "God damn it!" I shouted as I turned and watched my hat roll over and over away from me down the middle of the street. That was one of my favorite hats. I considered turning back, but no way could I have ever caught it. "Fuck!"

Sighing heavily, I pulled into the parking lot and my eyes narrowed when I caught sight of Jacob sitting in front of the window again. I pulled into a space as far away from him as I could get and adjusted the rearview mirror to look at my hair. A loud groan slipped through my lips. My hair looked like a mish-mash of hat and rollercoaster head. I ran my fingers through the mess, trying to get it to lie down, but finally just gave up. I grabbed the piece of pie and opened the truck door, immediately locking eyes with Jacob. The glare he gave me had some heat to it and I was happy to reciprocate.

When I reached the door to the store, I paused, continuing to stare him down. "What the hell is wrong with you?" I asked. Because, really, how in the fuck could he have cheated on my Counter Girl?

"Fuck you," he snarled.

"You are one stupid motherfucker, but you already know that, don't you?"

"Fuck you again," he growled. "And stay the hell away from her."

"Not a fucking chance, dipshit. You need to give it up because she's never taking your cheating ass back."

"I mean it. You stay away from her or I _will_ kick your fucking ass."

"Bring it on, Peewee," I said with a wink as I opened the door.

I smiled when I caught a glimpse of Hot Chick and my heart started galloping as I walked toward the counter. She had her back to me, dancing her sweet little ass off, her mahogany hair swaying softly down her back. I wondered what it would feel like to slide my fingers through those thick, silky strands.

I set the pie on the counter and just stood there grinning and soaking her up. She had her black sweatshirt on again and a tight pair of jeans and god damn did she have a prime ass – my morning fantasies had not done her justice. She had her ear buds in her ears again, singing loud and quite terribly to some song I didn't recognize. She turned around and screamed at the top of her lungs.

I busted out laughing – I couldn't help it. She was so damn cute. She tugged her ear buds out. "You scared the shit out of me, _again_," she said accusingly, breathing heavily with her hand on her chest.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry," I said still laughing.

"We have to stop meeting like this," she said, her beautiful mouth curving upwards into an irresistible smile.

I smiled back. I wanted to meet her like this every day for the rest of my life. "I brought you some pie," I said, pushing the small container towards her.

"Pie?" she asked, cocking an eyebrow at me with a sweet little grin on her lips.

"Peach," I said, grinning back at her.

"Hmm…Alice's peach pie," she mused as she popped open the top of the container. "Are you trying to bribe me or something?" she asked, looking up at me with a glimmer in her candy bar-colored eyes.

I chuckled nervously. "No, I actually brought it as a peace offering. I'm sorry for what I said yesterday. I didn't mean to upset you."

She looked over my shoulder at Jacob, her expression growing serious. She sighed softly. "I'm sorry I reacted the way I did. It's just…it's still kind of a touchy subject for me."

"I understand and I'm truly sorry."

She shrugged. "It's not your fault. Besides, pie cures everything," she said with that delightful smile of hers returning. She picked up the fork and took a bite, her perfect pink lips wrapping around and sliding along that fork. Closing her eyes, she hummed and my rock hard cock wanted to balance a bite of that pie on his head for her. I quickly shoved my hands into my jeans pockets and adjusted him. He was at an awkward angle and was shouting obscenities at me.

She wiped at the corner of her mouth and looked shyly up at me. "Sorry, Alice's pie is _so_ good."

I smiled. "I know. I had the cherry yesterday. I haven't tried the peach yet."

"Oh. Well hang on a sec." She set her fork down and disappeared through a door in the back. A moment later, she appeared with another fork in her hand. "Here, you have to try it," she said, smiling and handing me the fork.

My heart did a funky flip at her thoughtful gesture and even though I didn't even know this beautiful girl's name, I think I was already half in love with her.

I took the fork from her and could not stop smiling. I stuck the fork into the pie and took a bite. My eyes closed and I groaned loudly. "Holy shit that's some good pie," I moaned.

She giggled. "I told you so," she said before sticking her fork in and getting another bite. We stood there, sharing that small piece of pie while watching each other and grinning the entire time. It was the most intimate moment I'd ever shared with a woman. It didn't matter one bit that it was in an automotive store of all places with her douchebag cheater ex watching us.

"You can have the last bite," I said with a smile as I pushed it towards her.

"Thank you," she said as she quickly ate it. She tossed the forks and the container in the trash and leaned against the counter. "So, you're going to be running the diner, huh?"

My brows furrowed. "How did you know that?"

"Small town, big mouths," she said with a smile and a shrug.

I chuckled. "This whole small town thing is going to take some getting used to, but yeah, Maggie was my great aunt and left me her diner. I didn't know her."

"Oh, she was so sweet, one of the sweetest old ladies I've ever met. You would have loved her."

"That's what I've heard."

"I was heartbroken when she passed away."

I nodded. My fingers itched to touch her on her cheek, along her jaw, across her pretty lips.

I cleared my throat and glanced behind me. Jacob looked like he wanted to clobber me so I made sure to smile at him nice and big.

I turned back around and my phone rang. Frowning, I pulled it out of my pocket. It was Tanya. "Sorry, I need to take this," I said to my Counter Girl.

"No problem," she said with a smile.

"Hello?" I said, answering it.

"_I'm sorry to bother you, but the toilet in the men's bathroom is overflowing and I can't get it to stop," _Tanya said_._

What the fuck was I supposed to do about that?

I sighed. "Okay, I'll be there in a few," I said before hanging up.

"I'm sorry I have to go. Emergency at the diner," I said to the beauty behind the counter.

"Okay. Thank you for the pie. It was delicious."

I started walking backwards. "You're welcome and thank you for sharing with me."

She giggled. "You're welcome."

I continued walking backward with my eyes on her until I ran into a display for motor oil, almost knocking it over. "Shit! Sorry," I said, causing Hot Chick to laugh adorably. I made sure the display was intact before looking at her again. "Hey, what's your name, Counter Girl?"

She grinned. "_Counter Girl_?" she echoed with a laugh and a shake of her head. "It's Bella, Bella Swan."

_Bella..._

My heart acted up again, doing a kamikaze stunt in my chest. She couldn't have had a more perfect name. It suited her beautifully.

I grinned at her like a fool. "I love your name, Bella Swan," I shouted. Her cheeks reddened and she threw her head back and laughed. Still grinning, I turned around and when I saw Jacob's face, I realized that I may very well be getting my ass kicked in the immediate future.

But I decided it would be worth it.

I'd take a black eye in exchange for getting to spend time with my Counter Girl any day of the week.


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Thank you to everyone who has rec'd this story. You rock! ;)**

**I have so much love for my pre-readers: Lfcpam, JayNahNah, and betsmecullen. Thank you, ladies. And thank you to my beta, Halo221, who kicks my ass and I like it.**

**SM owns Twilight.**

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_**COUNTER ASSAULT**_

_**CHAPTER 4**_

I pushed open the door and startled when Jacob leaped from his lawn chair and pinned me against the glass window, his huge hand wrapping tightly around my throat. Yes, I had shamelessly flirted with his ex, with whom he seemed to be scarily obsessed, right in front of his face and had called him various inappropriate names, but I didn't think I deserved to die for those crimes. The dickhead loomed over me, and since I happened to be on the lean side, I was definitely no match for the burly jackass. I grabbed his hand with both of mine and tried to wrench it away, all to no avail.

"Do you have a problem with your fucking hearing?" he snarled in my face as I started to make some choking sounds and began turning a dark shade of purple. "I told you to stay the fuck away from her."

I heard a door slam and my beautiful Counter Girl came to my rescue. "Jacob! Let him go, now!" she shouted.

Jacob let go, thank fuck, and I immediately slumped over, coughing my ass off and trying to catch my breath. Counter Girl's soft little hands touched my back and my shoulder. Damn Jacob and the fucker's murderous ways. I couldn't even enjoy her sweet little touches because I was near death. "Are you okay? Oh my god, are you okay?" she kept murmuring and touching me. I could not believe her hands were on me. Maybe I needed Jacob to kick my ass more often.

I coughed a few more times and cleared my throat roughly before I finally straightened. I looked down into her beautiful, worried eyes. "Yeah, I'm okay," I said to her, coughing again, my voice still a little hoarse.

"Do you want me to call the police?" she asked. I glanced at Jacob and he looked like he might jump me at any second as he continued staring me down with hatred dripping from his eyes. I looked back at Bella and shook my head. I had enough problems without getting the cops involved.

She turned to Jacob. "You lay another finger on Edward and I'm calling the cops. Go inside. We have a lot to talk about."

My heart dropped into my Converse. I didn't want her anywhere near Jacob, and I sure as hell didn't want her inviting him in for a little conversation time. My eyes darted to the asshole and he smiled all smug and triumphantly at me before opening the door. I really wanted to run the fucker over with Waylon's truck since I had no chance of kicking his ass.

"Are you sure you're okay?" Bella asked, lightly touching my arm. I desperately wanted to grab her little hand in mine and hold it, or maybe ask her if she could cuddle me and kiss my boo-boos.

"Yeah, I'm okay. Are you okay? Has he ever done anything like this to you?" If he had, I'd have to sell the diner and hire some guys to kill the douche.

"No, never," she said, shaking her head. "He's never acted like this before. I don't know what got into him."

I decided to keep the fact that I might have slightly antagonized the bastard to myself.

"Will you be okay with him or do you want me to stay?" I asked.

She looked through the window to where Jacob was standing and nervously tucked her hair behind her ears. "No, I'll be alright."

I studied her lovely face for a moment. She had the cutest little freckles splashed across her nose and cheeks. I wanted to kiss them. "Can I come back and check on you later?" I asked quietly, my eyes darting to Jacob, hoping the ass couldn't read lips.

Her beautiful mouth turned up, and I swear I felt a tingling sensation spread throughout my body. Or it might have been my blood starting to circulate again after that choke hold dickhead had just put me in – same difference. "Sure, I work until six."

I grinned back at her and felt like skipping to Waylon's truck. "See you soon," I whispered.

I climbed into Waylon's ride and took my time turning on the ignition so I could watch to make sure she was okay. I enjoyed the way her hands flew every which way while she talked. She seemed to be ripping Jacob a new one. I backed up and said a silent prayer for her safety, keeping my eyes on her until the very last second.

I took a whiff of Waylon's truck and the corner of my mouth twisted up when I realized that I didn't even look at the air fresheners. I was happy that I hadn't needed that as an excuse. I held my breath, deciding not to hang my head out the window this time. It would have taken too much effort with my sore neck and all.

When I got to the diner, I had to fight for a parking space. Apparently, the lunch crowd had moved in. I had just turned off the ignition when my phone rang. I smiled when I recognized the ring tone and quickly cleared my still scratchy throat.

"It's about time you called me, Lips," I answered with a grin.

"Shut the fuck up, Night Crawler," Leah responded affectionately. Leah was my best friend from Seattle. We met at work and hit it off immediately. I had always heard the saying that men and women can't be friends but when one of them is 100% gay and prefers to be treated like a guy, then that rule no longer applies.

My nickname for her had dual meanings. She had lips and she liked lips. Her nickname for me – well for my cock, that is – was not appreciated. And no, she'd never seen him or even gotten close to him for that matter so her stupid fucking name was way off the mark.

I grinned. "I've been in Forks for how many days and your sorry ass couldn't be bothered to check up on me?"

"I met someone," she said dramatically.

I chuckled. "You're always meeting a 'new' someone."

"I know but she's gorgeous and you should see her tits…they're bigger than Carmen's."

My eyes widened because Carmen, Leah's ex, had some huge knockers. Not that I purposely looked, but I am a guy and when big boobs are in the vicinity, I had a hard time resisting a peek or two. "Damn…" I mumbled.

"You mean double damn," she said with a laugh. "So how is Forks? And how is the tiny diner owner holding up?"

"Well, I got caned on the calf this morning and choked by a linebacker about five minutes ago and...I think I met her."

I smiled when the phone went quiet. "Her? You mean 'the one'? Are you fucking kidding me? I'm coming to Forks right now. Give me the damn address."

I chuckled. "Oh, fuck, no, you're not stealing this one away from me."

"Have you seen her tits yet?"

I chuckled. Leah seemed to be hung up on boobs. "No, I want a lot more from her than just her nice perky tits," I said, lying my ass off because all I'd been thinking about was her tits.

"What the hell does that mean? Did you lose your Night Crawler?"

I threw my head back and laughed.

"So who is she? And how the hell did you get caned?"

I grinned, knowing exactly how to get her goat. "Well, right now I have to go unplug a toilet so I'll have to call you back."

"_No…"_ she shouted and I grinned as I hung up on her.

I silenced my phone, knowing she'd blow it up. I'd call her later of course, but I loved fucking with her.

I stepped into the diner and said hello to a few people before Tanya pulled me to the side. "Um, here's the key. I locked it so no one could go in there."

With a heavy sigh, I took it from her. I felt like I was accepting the key to the gates of hell. I let my Converse drag noisily across the black and white tiles as I slowly approached the door to the men's bathroom. I closed my eyes and took in a couple of deep, cleansing breaths before I finally inserted the key. I held my breath and slowly pushed open the door. One look and my eyes widened in terror before I let the door slam shut. "Holy fucking shit," I mumbled, leaning heavily against it. I wouldn't have gone in there for ten million dollars.

I re-locked the door and walked the few steps back into the dining area. I walked over to where Tanya was standing behind the counter. "I can't go in there," I said to her in a low voice, looking around to make sure no one could hear us. "I don't know what to do. Do you know anybody I could call?"

"Yeah, call Emmett. Emmett McCarty. He's the handyman around town," she said as she pulled out her phone and gave me his number.

"Thank you." I wanted to give Tanya a hug or at least maybe a raise.

I stepped through the swinging door to the kitchen and saw that Alice was by herself. Guess old Jasper went home. I left her alone and made my way to my office and quickly dialed Emmett's number.

"Yeah, this is Emmett," a loud, boisterous voice answered.

"Um, this is Edward Cullen, I-"

"Oh yeah, you're the guy that took over the diner, huh? How's it going?"

I smiled and shook my head. "Well, it was going okay until today. The men's toilet is backed up."

"Oh yeah, Maggie's always had problems with that shitter. I tried to get her to let me replace it, but she was hard-up on money. Want me to come over? I'll probably have to run a snake through it and maybe check the septic vent."

"Yeah, when can you get here?"

"I can be there in five."

My mouth dropped open and it took me a second to recover. "That's awesome," I finally said with a relieved chuckle. Small towns kicked ass.

We said our goodbyes and hung up. I looked up and saw a man with sandy blonde hair standing in the doorway. "Hi, I'm Mike Newton," he announced.

Ah, the manager that I needed to fire. I stood and shook his hand. "Edward Cullen. Nice to meet you," I said with a nod.

"Sorry I couldn't be here sooner. My family owns the sporting goods store in town and I had to go out of town on business for it."

"Oh," I said, my eyes narrowing slightly as I wondered if he'd been collecting a check even though he hadn't been here.

"Maggie was a really good friend of my parents, and I've only been covering until someone else could take over," he told me. "I don't want to have to juggle two jobs at the same time."

"_Oh…_okay," I said with understanding and smiling this time.

Mike started showing me around the tiny office when Tanya poked her head in, telling me that Emmett had arrived. I handed her the key and asked her if she could take care of it. Mike then introduced me to the books, how to do the payroll, and showed me the suppliers I needed to order from. He also gave me the key and combination to the safe.

I felt relieved because he seemed like a nice guy and I didn't want to have to fire him. Apparently, I had misjudged the dude. He showed me the payroll and what was owed to him. I threw in an extra two weeks as a thank you.

We said our goodbyes and I made sure to send him off with a couple of pies. When I stepped back into the dining room, I hoped like hell Emmett had the toilet situation under control. But before I could do anything, I stopped dead in my tracks and just stared with my mouth gaped open at the enormous guy sitting at the counter. He was wearing a white thermal undershirt with the sleeves rolled up outlining enormous, Herculean muscles with a white paper napkin tucked into the top of his shirt. About ten different plates sat in front of him and with his wide blue eyes, giant grin, and the way he held his knife and fork up in the air, he could have easily passed for a muscled-up Jethro Bodine.

"Edward, right?" he asked with a wide, toothy grin, pointing his fork at me.

I frowned. "Emmett?" I asked tentatively.

"You bet your fucking dollar," he half-shouted, standing and dropping his fork before offering his hand. I hesitated, hoping like hell he had disinfected that thing. I swallowed hard, forced a smile, and shook it.

"Got your shitter unclogged," he said way too loudly before having the good grace to look around. "Oh, I'm sorry, ma'am," he said politely to a woman sitting in a booth behind him.

He sat back down with a slap-on-the-wrist look on his face. He motioned with his finger and I leaned toward him. "Sorry about that," he said in a low voice. "Got your toilet fixed. Sometime you're going to need to replace it and maybe even have someone take a look at your septic system because it's just going to continue backing up."

I nodded. "Once I get a look at the finances, I'll let you know when we can do it."

"Awesome, I'll cut you a good deal on it. Where are you from, Seattle?" he asked before taking a huge bite of mashed potatoes.

"Yeah, sure am."

He nodded as he chewed and quickly swallowed. "That's cool. I also own the bar in town…the _only _bar in town. You'll have to come check it out. It's McCarty's over on Franklin."

I smiled. "I definitely will. I'm sure I'm going to have days when I need a stiff drink."

"Hell yeah," he said grabbing his Coke and holding it up with a big grin before taking a drink.

The door opened and I smiled when I saw Waylon mosey up to the counter and sit down beside Emmett. "How's it going?" I asked him as we shook hands.

His nose did that weird rabbit twitch again. I tried hard to keep my eyes focused on his eyes, but I could not stop zoning in on that nose. "It's going real good," he said with a grin and a twitch. "Any word on your starter yet?"

Before I could even open my mouth, Emmett butted in. "Starter? What's wrong with your starter? Is Garrett going to put it in for you?"

"No," Waylon responded. "I told him I'd do it to save the boy some money."

"Who's Garrett?" I asked Emmett.

"He's the mechanic over at _Swan's_."

"There's a garage?" I asked confused.

"Yeah, it's in the back. You can only access it through the alley."

Guess I'd been too distracted by Counter Girl to even notice. Emmett and Waylon talked, a lot, but I was impressed at how expertly Emmett managed to hoover every morsel from the many plates that were set before him while juggling a conversation. Even though he was big and loud and talked too much, I really did like the guy and knew I'd just made a new friend. He told me his charge for the work on the toilet and I quickly wrote him out a check.

Jessica came in at two o'clock to take over for Tanya, and she did much better with the flirting. I could still feel her overly mascaraed eyes boring into me constantly, but I decided I could live with the staring – as long as it stayed at that. I'd just have to keep a close eye on her. The afternoon flew by and when I looked down at my watch, I could not believe it was five thirty.

I pulled Jessica into the kitchen. "Hey, I need to leave a little early today. Can you lock up tonight?"

She nodded and apparently had replaced her gum with Tic-Tacs. She had several of them in her mouth and her bright orange tongue kept doing weird flipping things with them. "Sure, I do it all the time."

"Good. Are you scheduled to work in the morning?"

"Yeah," she said.

"Okay, I'll see you in the morning then."

I waited until she had exited the kitchen before I made my way over to Alice. I started to grab a french fry but got smacked on the back of the hand with a wooden spoon. "Ouch," I mumbled, grabbing my hand. "I hope this place carries Worker's Comp because with you around, I'm definitely going to have to file a claim at some point."

She snorted but kept her eyes on her work station. I grinned back at her even though she couldn't see me. With her distracted for a second, I managed to sneak a fry and popped it into my mouth.

"Ho…ho…hot," I muttered, waving my hand in front of my mouth and tossing the scalding fry around with my tongue.

"Singed the roof of your mouth, didn't it?" Alice asked looking at me with the corner of her mouth turned up. "That's what you get, Runt."

I grabbed a glass of water and cooled my tongue while Alice chuckled.

I quickly cleared my throat. "No, I did not deserve a mouth scorching for stealing a measly fry," I said with a half-grin. "Hey, I'm leaving a little early, which you probably just heard, and I wanted to see if you would please be kind enough to make me two orders of your mouth-watering beef stroganoff to go."

She cocked an inquisitive eyebrow at me and I just smiled back at her. "Yes, two," I responded. "I'm a growing boy, what can I say?"

She grunted before quickly making my order and handing it to me. "Thank you, Alice Brandon, the best cook on the western seaboard. I look forward to seeing your lovely face in the morning."

She cracked a smile and tried to smack me with her wooden spoon again. I laughed and dodged it before exiting the kitchen.

I had a bounce in my step as I made my way to Waylon's truck. I could not wait to go check up on my Counter Girl. Hopefully her douchebag cheater ex was gone and I could spend some quality alone time with her.

And maybe finagle my way into her heart with more of Alice's fucking fantastic food.


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: Thank you all for the lovely reviews. Your words make me smile. ;))**

**I have so much love for my pre-readers: Lfcpam, JayNahNah, and betsmecullen. Thank you all for putting up with me. ;) And I absolutely adore my beta Halo221. She is the bestest.**

**SM owns Twilight.**

* * *

_**COUNTER ASSAULT**_

_**CHAPTER 5**_

I said goodbye to everyone at the diner and hopped into Waylon's truck. Of course it started raining so I had to quickly roll up the windows. Frowning and mumbling a few curses, I held my breath as I fiddled with the buttons on the dashboard and finally got the air conditioner to turn on. I was hoping to bring in some clean air from the outside into the stink tank, but when I took a whiff, I almost gagged. It smelled like something had curled up and died in one of the vents. I finally just gave up and rolled the windows back down not caring if I got drenched.

My heart did its usual gymnastics routine the closer I got to the automotive store. When I saw that dickhead and his lawn chair were absent, I felt giddier than a damn schoolboy.

I pulled into a front row spot and smiled when I caught sight of my Counter Girl talking on her cell phone. Grabbing our food, I rolled the windows up and jogged the few steps to the door. I stepped inside and was shaking the water off when she glanced up, giving me a small smile and a wave. I grinned back at her, delighted in her happy response to seeing me.

Walking to the counter, I set the food down and tried not to eavesdrop. Okay, no, I eavesdropped like a motherfucker. I wanted to know every single thing about her. My ears perked up straighter than a German Shepherd's, and I think I might have even been able to pick up a conversation over at the diner.

"But you said you'd be back by now," she said, obviously agitated. Her lips thinned and her eyes narrowed before her small hand laying on the counter tightened into a fist. "What am I supposed to do? Garrett's already left."

"_Call Jacob,"_ I heard a female voice respond on the other end of the line. _"You know he'll come running like a little puppy dog with his tongue hanging out and his little fucking tail wagging."_

My shoulders stiffened. Counter Girl would _not_ be calling that douchebag any time soon if I had any say so in the matter.

"I can't deal with you right now. We'll talk about this later," Bella said before hanging up. She dropped her phone on the counter and sat down, staring at it with a pensive expression on her face. I wanted to wrap my arms around her slender shoulders and kiss her worries away.

I watched her for a few more moments. "Is everything okay?" I finally asked in a soft voice.

She sighed heavily and looked up, a somber look in her dark eyes. "Yeah, sorry about that," she said. She took in another deep breath and looked back down at the counter. I frowned, wondering what I could do to make her smile again.

"Do you want to talk about it?" I asked gently, wishing I could touch her, pull her into my arms.

She looked up and intently studied my face. The way she stared at me made my heart start pounding. Counter Girl had turned me into a complete pussy with just one look. "No," she said in a quiet voice, sighing softly. "Sometimes life's just complicated, you know?"

Boy, did I ever know.

"I understand completely," I said seriously. Then, trying to lighten the mood, I asked, "Are you hungry? I brought food. That always helps."

She smiled but it didn't quite reach her eyes. "I'd love some, but I really need to get home. Is there any way you could give me a ride?"

"Sure," I said with an enthusiastic nod, thrilled to get to spend some more time with her. But then I remembered the stench factory I was driving and my eyes widened. "Wait! No, I can't."

She frowned and stared at me like I'd lost my mind.

"I mean, I _can_ but Waylon's truck…" I said, turning around and staring at the monstrosity for a second before looking back at her, slightly defeated. "His truck smells like shit. I think something died in it."

She busted out giggling, and I grinned at her. She grabbed her coat and slipped it on before picking up her bag and tossing it over her shoulder. "I don't mind."

She was not getting it.

"No, I mean it's _really_ bad. Do you have any air fresheners?"

"Sure do. Right over there," she said, pointing to a display. I grabbed ten tree-shaped fresheners, clearing out her inventory and set them down on the counter.

"Oh, I already closed the register. Those can just be on the house."

Oh hell no. I pulled out my wallet and handed her more than enough cash to cover the purchase. I kept my wallet angled so she couldn't see that I only had a dollar left over.

"Thanks, but you didn't need to do that," she said with a smile, tucking the money under the counter.

"Yes, I did."

She bagged the trees for me, and I grabbed the bag of food off the counter. We walked to the door and I pulled my hoodie up as I waited for her under the awning while she locked up. A huge gust of wind blew past, blowing a bunch of wet leaves up against the building. "What's that?" she asked, pointing towards the ground.

I barked out a laugh because I couldn't believe it. "That's my hat. I lost it earlier," I said as I picked it up. It had some dirt caked on it and was a little damp but I didn't give a fuck because that hat had sentimental meaning to it. Maybe I could wash it or something.

She smiled. "That's my favorite team. Are you into baseball?"

My Counter Girl liked baseball? My heart tumbled in my chest, making my breathing difficult. Clearly a pacemaker would be in my immediate future.

I quickly cleared my throat. "Um, yeah, you could say that," I mumbled not wanting to get into it all right then.

She smiled and pulled the hood up on her coat. I smiled back before we made our way to the passenger side of Waylon's truck. "Brace yourself…" I mumbled before opening the door for her.

"Oh my god that stinks," she said immediately, looking up at me with wide eyes.

I chuckled. "I told you so."

"I think you're right about there being something dead in there. Have you checked under the seats?"

"Uh, no," I said. "You think I should look?"

"It's probably the only way to get rid of the smell."

I have to admit I was scared to look under Waylon's seats because I had no idea what the fuck I would find, but no way would I let Bella know that. I needed her to see me as a big, strong man or at least not as wussy as her run-in with her ex made me seem. "All right," I said. Taking in a deep breath and holding it, I reached inside the truck and set the food, hat, and trees in the center of the seat. I then took my own advice and braced myself before ducking down and taking a look underneath. I squinted, ducking a little lower and that's when I saw it. "Fuck!" I shouted smacking my head on the door frame as I quickly backed out of the truck.

"What?" Bella asked in a startled voice. "Are you okay?"

I grimaced and rubbed my aching head. "Yeah…"

"Did you see something?"

"There's a fish skeleton under there." I didn't tell her about the head and the eyeball that stared back at me.

She threw her head back and laughed. "That's disgusting," she said, smiling and still laughing.

"Has Waylon lost his sense of smell because how in the fuck could he not smell that?"

Counter Girl laughed loudly, her sweet sounds wrapping around me like a hug. Yep, my Night Crawler had shriveled up and died, paving the way for the growth of my new vagina.

"Are you sure you're okay?" she asked again still laughing a little. I loved the concern she showed me.

"Yeah, I'm good."

"Let's go back inside and figure out a way to get rid of that fish," she said with a grin, her lovely face glowing from laughing so much.

After a quick scavenger hunt in the store, she found me a mask, a pair of gloves, and a bag. Back outside and with my mask securely in place, I grabbed the nasty thing and shoved it into the bag before disposing everything in the trash can. I had to swallow down a gag or two while Bella giggled adorably at me from the side lines. It felt fantastic to hear her laughter even if it was at my expense.

"It's probably still going to smell since it's embedded in the carpet, but hopefully it won't be as bad," I said as I watched her struggle to climb into the truck. My cock and I stared hard at her curvy little ass and we both wanted me to grab a handful and give her a boost. After closing her door, I told my cock to sit back down and quickly ran around to the other side of the truck and hopped in.

I laughed when I looked at her. She was holding her nose again. I took a whiff and wrinkled my nose. It still smelled like shit. "Guess it's tree time, huh?" I asked. She nodded and we both laughed as we began furiously tearing open the packages as fast as we could and started hanging the various colored trees all over the interior of the truck. We laid a couple on the fish spot, hung them off the visors and mirror, crammed them under and in between the seats, tossed them on the dashboard, and even hung some off the gear shift. We laughed the entire time.

Once all of the trees had been planted, I hesitantly took a small sniff and cringed. It smelled like a tractor trailer carrying a load of perfume had crashed into a rotten fish market. "I guess that's a little better, huh?" I asked.

Bella smiled and shook her head before plugging her nose.

I let out a loud cackle and rolled the windows down part-way. "You're right, it's worse. When is my starter going to get here?"

"You should have told me you were suffering and I would have had them FedEx it."

"Damn it, why didn't I think of that?" I asked, grinning at her.

She laughed before grabbing her nose again. She looked so damn cute. I kept my eyes on hers as I started the truck. "So where's home?" I asked.

"Go past the diner and turn right at the next light."

I nodded and backed out of the parking space. "So what happened with Jacob?" I asked, wishing like fuck I'd been a fly on the wall so I could have listened in on that conversation.

She dropped her hand from her nose and sighed. "The usual. I'm so sorry for what he did to you."

"You have nothing to apologize for. That was all him."

"I know but he attacked you because of me."

"He attacked me because he's a jackass," I said, stealing a glance at her. She smiled and I smiled back before I looked at the road again. "So are you going to let him continue to sit outside the store?"

"No. I told him that if he shows up tomorrow, I'll call the cops. I got my revenge but now it just doesn't feel right."

I wanted to kiss her on the lips for her level-headed decision-making.

"That's good because his behavior was bordering on the psychotic," I said, although I would have joined the fucker in a heartbeat, but she didn't need to know that.

When I turned at the light, she spoke up again. "It's just a couple more blocks."

I smiled and nodded in acknowledgement as I drove in silence. I really wanted to know what else she and that douche talked about, but I didn't know how to ask without sounding like a prick.

"Turn left at the stop sign," she said. "It's the last house on the right."

I pulled up in front of a small, modest, two-story home with a wheelchair ramp out front. I turned the truck off because I didn't want to leave just yet.

I stared straight ahead, trying to think of a way to get her to invite me in when Bella spoke up. "I think I know what's going on here," she said in a quiet voice.

I turned towards her, resting my arm on the back of the seat. "What do you mean?" I asked innocently unable to keep the roguish smile off my face.

She bit back a grin and cocked a cute eyebrow at me. "You know what I mean."

I furrowed my brows contemplatively. "If you're talking about me trying to win your heart, then I have no clue what you're talking about."

She laughed and shook her head. I grinned back at her and watched as her face grew serious. "I'm not someone you want to fall for, Edward." Hearing her say my name did something to me, did something to my heart. I could feel it to my very core.

I swallowed hard, my eyes never leaving hers. "You're exactly the kind of girl I want to fall for, Bella."

Her little brows furrowed as she shook her head. "No, I'm not. You don't even know me."

"I know enough. You're fucking gorgeous, like knock-me-on-my-ass hot. You're incredibly sweet and witty and you're generous…you did share your pie with me," I said with a crooked grin. "And every time I see you, I smile. You wouldn't believe the crazy shit my heart does whenever I get near you."

She stared at me as little tears started to form in her eyes. "You can't say those things to me. I come with way too much baggage."

"Well," I said, holding my arms out and looking down at them, "I may not look like it, but I happen to have some pretty strong arms. They can help carry any and all of your bags any time you need it."

She quickly dashed away a tear and smiled. "Are you always this irresistible?"

I tossed her a sly smile. "Not until I met you."

She stared at me for a long moment before she sighed softly. "Jacob won't let this happen, at least not right now."

"I don't give a fuck about Jacob. Besides, he can't dictate what we do."

"I know but he can cause problems."

"He doesn't matter, Bella. It's up to you and me if we want to pursue this. If you tell me that _you_ don't want me, that's different, but don't tell me what Jacob wants."

"I just…it's just that I have some really difficult things going on right now. You are such a sweet guy, Edward, and if things were different, I'd…" she said, trailing off. Her lips turned upwards just a fraction, a melancholy touch to them. She stared at me for a heartbeat longer before she reached for the handle to open the door. "I'm sorry but I have to go."

"Wait," I said, touching her arm. She looked down at my hand for a moment before her eyes met mine.

"That wasn't a no, Counter Girl, so don't think I'll be giving up on you so easily. I don't know what went down with you and Jacob, but I know that he hurt you and I want to kill him for that. But I won't give up pursuing you unless you tell me you're not interested. 'Cause the thing is, I really want to get to know you better, like, find out everything about you. And I hope maybe, even with whatever baggage you have and the stupid shit Jacob did, I hope you'll want to get to know me too."

Taking in a deep breath after basically putting myself totally on the line, I picked up the bag of food and handed it to her. She didn't move a muscle; she just stared at me with her mouth gaped slightly open. "And here's some supper. Do you like beef stroganoff?" I asked with an expectant grin.

Her brows furrowed as she continued staring at me. She finally snapped out of it and shook her head before taking the bag from me. "Yeah, thanks," she said, her mouth twisting into a beautiful Mona Lisa smile.

"You're welcome. And now I know one more thing about you: you like beef stroganoff."

She laughed, her smile growing.

"Oh, and I love beef stroganoff. I pretty much like everything with beef in it. I'm an all-American kind of guy."

"That's good to know."

"Exactly. Now let me get the door for you," I said before hopping out of the truck and opening the door for her. Thankfully, the rain had stopped. She smiled bashful-like and thanked me.

I walked beside her up to her door and waited while she unlocked it. "Are you working tomorrow?" I asked, shoving my hands into my jeans.

"Yeah…" she said her brows furrowing slightly in curiosity. She still hadn't said no…

"Good. I'll see you tomorrow. Have a lovely evening, Bella."

She laughed. "You're going to be a lot of trouble for me, aren't you?"

"Yes, I am. Hopefully the best trouble you've ever had."

She laughed and I smiled broadly, giving her a salute before turning around and hustling back to Waylon's truck. I climbed in and looked up, catching her standing in the doorway. I waved and she waved back before she disappeared inside the house.

As I pulled away, I decided I needed to find out exactly what her "baggage" consisted of so I could prove to her that I could handle the load.

And I also needed to come up with some new ways to help mend my lovely Counter Girl's wounded heart. It was going to take a lot more than Alice's good cooking.


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: Thank you to everyone who is reading this little story. ;))**

**I love my pre-readers: Lfcpam, JayNahNah, and betsmecullen. You guys are awesome! ;) And my beta Halo221 is the prettiest beta in the world.**

**SM owns Twilight.**

* * *

_**COUNTER ASSAULT**_

_**CHAPTER 6**_

Before heading home, I stopped back by the diner and picked up the books. I needed to know where the cash situation stood since the cash situation in my wallet was pretty dire. I pulled out my phone and laughed at the texts and missed calls from Lips. I took it off mute and tucked it back into my pocket, planning to call her as soon as I got home.

I turned down my street and frowned. "What the hell?" I mumbled as I sat up straighter and squinted through the windshield. Waylon was standing in his front yard next to an honest-to-god ten-foot-tall rusty old windmill. What the fuck did he need a windmill for?

I pulled up in front of his house and just stared. I hadn't noticed it before but he had a collection of oddities going on which included a wooden wind chime the size of a steering wheel hanging from a tree. He also had a large collection of about twenty or so various-sized frogs where a flower bed should have been. One of the frogs even wore a bow-tie. But what got me were the bowling balls. He had two bowling balls mixed in with the frogs. What the hell was this man thinking?

"Hey, Edward, how ya doing?" he asked through the passenger side window, grinning like a happy Jack-O-Lantern.

"Good. Is that a windmill?" I asked rhetorically as I nodded towards it.

"Sure is. What do ya think of it?" he asked and for once I didn't notice his rabbit twitch because I was too hung up on the damn windmill in his yard.

"It's very…interesting."

He nodded. "I got it at the salvage yard. I dickered with 'em and ended up gettin' it for free. I think it's got character…reminds me of days gone by."

I had no idea how to respond to that so I just nodded. "What's up with the bowling balls?"

"Oh, I've bowled on leagues for probably forty years or so," he said before the twin twitch appeared. "Those are my retired balls. I wanted to give them a nice resting place."

I had to cover my mouth and cough to keep back my laughter because hearing him say 'retired balls' just about killed me. If there ever came a time when my balls needed to be retired, my request would be to just bury me with them.

"Do you bowl?" he asked.

I quickly cleared the laughter from my throat. "No, I don't."

"You should come with me some time. We can have some beer and I'll teach you some of my tricks."

"Count me in," I said. "You won't ever see me passing up an opportunity for some beer."

He chuckled and twitched, and I have to say my heart went out to old Waylon. I could feel the loneliness radiating from him. "How about tomorrow night?" he asked with a hopeful glint in his eyes. "I bowl over in Portland."

"Sure…as long as you let me buy the beers."

"They cut me a deal and give me the beers half-price."

"Well, that's good to hear because that means we get to drink twice as much, right?"

"You betcha," he said grinning and doing the rabbit. But then his eyes darted around the truck and he frowned. "Why d'ya have air fresheners everywhere?"

"Did you know you had a dead fish under your seat?"

"Huh? A dead fish?"

"Yes, a dead fish. Did you ever notice the smell?"

"Hmm…can't say I have," he said sniffing and twitching simultaneously. "This is my fishin' truck, though. One of 'em must've jumped outta my bucket at some point."

The guy had clearly lost his sense of smell.

"That can be a great story for your fishing buddies…the one that got away," I said with a laugh.

He chuckle-twitched and we talked a few more minutes about the weather before I told him goodbye.

I had just set my stuff down on the kitchen table when my phone rang. I grinned and answered it. "Am I going to have to block your ass to keep you from bugging the shit out of me?" I said.

"You are the lowest form of bastard," Leah said with a heavy dose of loathing. "How could you do this to me?"

I chuckled. "It's payback for that skank you set me up with…the one that had that foot thing going on." I shivered a little when I got hit with a flash of her trying to touch my dick under the table with her gnarly toes.

"But she seemed so sweet. How in the hell could I have known she had a foot-on-dick fetish?"

"You should have given her a questionnaire or some shit to fill out."

She laughed and I chuckled along with her. "So tell me about _her,_" she said with way too much enthusiasm.

Sighing, I sat down and propped my feet up on the table. "She's incredible, Lips. She's not like anybody I've ever met before. She's beautiful and you should have seen what she did to make her cheater ex-boyfriend suffer," I said before telling her about catching Bella in that skimpy outfit traipsing in front of the counter. I also told her about douchebag Jacob, how we shared a piece of pie, and how Jacob tried to kill me.

"This is exactly why you should have taken that kickboxing class with me, you lazy ass," she said.

"Yeah, yeah," I said, smiling before I told her about taking Bella home and the conversation we had.

"So do you think her only 'baggage' is the douchey stalker perp? I mean, not that he isn't a lot of baggage. From your description of him, he has to be 6'5" and 250 pounds."

"I don't know. I haven't figured her out yet."

"Well, as long as she doesn't have a husband and five kids hidden somewhere, I think you'll be okay."

I let out a loud chuckle.

"Just turn on the Cullen charm and she'll be slipping her panties off before you know it."

My cock definitely wanted in her panties, but I think I wanted in her heart more than anything. Good thing I didn't say that out loud or Lips would have never let me live that shit down.

We talked for another half hour or so. I told her about Waylon and everyone I had met at the diner, and she told me all about the new chick she'd just met. After we hung up, I nuked myself a burrito and started going over the books.

"Damn it," I said, frowning and rubbing my eyes. The numbers were off and I could not figure out why. I finally just set it aside and decided to go over them again in the morning. Thankfully, the diner was making a profit so I'd at least be able to pay my bills.

I went to bed and hoped like hell I wouldn't have another nightmare starring Alice. And thankfully, I didn't. Instead, I dreamed that Waylon and I were using his retired balls to bowl with and the frogs were the pins. We were standing in his front yard – both of us buck naked except for the matching furry Daniel Boone hats on our heads. Bella drove by in Waylon's truck and hurled a fish at me, hitting me square on the ass. The second I woke up, I threw out every burrito in the house. I needed to go the grocery and get some healthy, non-nightmare inducing food.

After a quick shower, I got dressed and headed outside to Waylon's truck. Since I had to roll the windows up because of the rain, the smells had concentrated in the cab to the point that it made my eyes water. I opened both doors to let the noxious fumes out and went back into the house looking for something to cover my nose with. I found a red bandana and wrapped it around my head. I looked like a train robber from an old silent movie.

When I drove by the deserted automotive store and my heart took a leap, I wondered what time I should visit Bella. I wanted to show up early to see if she needed any help with the douche, but I also didn't want to look too overly eager. I finally decided noon would probably work best.

I pulled into a parking space at the diner and removed the bandana. I had to roll the windows up again because it had started raining.

I grinned and my stomach grumbled when I stepped inside. The "regular" guys were already bellied up to the counter, and Jessica was pouring them coffee. I said hi to everyone and talked for a few minutes before I stepped into the kitchen.

"Good morning, Jasper," I said with a smile as I made my way over to him.

"Good morning," he responded in a cheerful voice, looking up at me through his dark-rimmed glasses. "What's your name again?"

"It's Edward. Hey, I need to go grab something. I'll be right back," I said before slipping into my office. I took a selfie with my phone and got the printer working and printed it out. I then wrote "Edward Cullen aka Runt" on it with a Sharpie. I dug around in the desk and found some tape.

"Maybe this will help," I said as I stepped back into the kitchen and held up my photo ID.

He grinned. "Sorry about that," he said. "I have a hard time with names for some reason. I can remember faces but I can't put a name with them. Guess I'm getting old," he said with a chuckle and a shake of his head.

"Old?" I asked as I taped my mug on one of the cabinets. "You're a stud, Jasper. The word 'old' should not even be in your vocabulary."

"Thank you, son," he said with a big smile.

"You're welcome. Now what's for breakfast because it smells delicious in here."

"How about some chocolate chip pancakes?"

"Are you serious?" I asked with a grin. "Where's my plate?"

Jasper piled three enormous pancakes on a plate and handed it to me. I thanked him and headed back out to the dining area and sat down at the counter next to an old guy named Aro. Jessica came over and poured me a cup of coffee.

"So what's going on with you and Bella?" she asked.

I had just taken a big bite of my pancakes. I choked and started strangling on a chocolate chip. "What?" I finally asked, clearing my throat roughly.

"I heard you guys have been hanging out."

My eyes narrowed. "Have you been following me or something?" I asked. I tried to recall if I had seen her at any point, but I'd been so focused on Bella that I hadn't been paying attention to much else.

"No, of course not," she said. "My mom drove by _Swan's_ yesterday and told me she saw you two leaving together."

I studied her face carefully and couldn't detect any deception, but I still didn't trust her. "Well," I said, grabbing my napkin and wiping my mouth, "you need to tell your mother to mind her own business."

She huffed and did an annoying eye roll before stomping off. I ignored her and dug into my pancakes.

"Bella?" Aro spoke up from beside me. He was one of the old timers that came to the diner each day. "She's a sweet little gal. Feel sorry for her, though."

Frowning, I turned towards him. "Why?" I asked.

"It's that dad of hers."

"Oh yeah," Ben said, chiming in. He was another one of the old timers who was sitting on the other side of Aro. "Charlie is one big, giant pain in the ass."

"You can say that again," Aro said. "I went to visit him the other day and he told me to 'fuck off.' Those were his exact words. Wouldn't even let me inside the house and we used to be good friends."

I frowned as I recalled the wheelchair ramp outside her house. "What's wrong with him? Is he sick or something?"

"Yeah, he had a stroke a while back," Aro said. "He's confined to a wheelchair and takes it out on everyone, especially that sweet little girl of his. I don't know how she puts up with his sorry old ass. She needs to just put him in a home and be done with it."

"That's exactly what she should do," Ben agreed with a nod.

"And she's trying her hardest to keep _Swan's_ going for Charlie," Aro said. "Not that he cares any. I think she should just go ahead and sell the place. I bet Billy would buy it."

"Oh yeah…" Ben added. "That would be a drop in the bucket for Billy."

"Who's Billy?" I asked.

"Billy Black. Jacob Black's dad," Ben answered. "The guy's loaded. Plus he and Charlie used to be really tight."

Damn that fucker and his rich daddy.

I hadn't even noticed it but Jessica was standing in front of me. "Edward?" she asked interrupting us. "I'm out of ones."

I nodded at her before turning to Ben and Aro. "Excuse me, guys," I said. "I'll be right back."

As I walked back to my office to get into the safe, I took in a deep breath and blew it out slowly. Guess Bella wasn't joking when she said she had a lot of baggage. I couldn't imagine having to take care of a sick parent like that especially when the parent was acting like an ungrateful asshole.

I stepped back into the dining area and handed Jessica the bundle of ones eager to find out more about Bella, but I never got a chance to as one catastrophe after another happened. Jessica dropped a plate of food, splattering gravy on a customer. I had to 'smooth talk' the lady with a promise of paying her dry cleaning bill. Then a three-year-old choked on a piece of sausage and I freaked the fuck out and thought I was going to have to give the kid the Heimlich.

By the time Alice arrived, Aro and Ben were gone and I was a little worse for wear. I still opened the door for her and put on a happy face. "Good morning, Alice. My tongue hurts like hell today. I think I have a blister." Her lips fought a smile, but I could see the mirth in her gray eyes.

"Good," she grunted. "Remember that the next time you want to steal one of my fries, Runt."

I laughed and made sure to give her a lot of space. I didn't want another caning.

I went back to my office and worked some more on the books, but I still couldn't figure out the leak. I looked up and saw it was close to noon so I asked Alice to pack me up a couple of turkey clubs before I made my way over to _Swan's_. I frowned when I pulled into the parking lot and saw a couple of cars. At first I thought maybe douchebag was there, but felt relieved when I saw she just had some customers. I sat in the truck and waited until they left.

I got out of Waylon's truck with my bag of food in tow and pushed open the door, my pulse racing like crazy. She had her hair up in a ponytail, and her delicate ears stuck out a little, making me smile. She looked up and grinned before her eyes dropped to the bag in my hand. "More pie?" she asked, cocking her head to the side.

"No, I thought turkey clubs sounded good today," I said, setting the bag on the counter. "Have you had lunch yet?"

"No, I was just about to have a PB&J."

"Oooh, close save."

She smiled and leaned against the counter, her arms crossed in front of her. "Thank you for the beef stroganoff. It was delicious."

"You're welcome."

I pulled out a Styrofoam container and handed it to her, unable to stop smiling. I felt happy just being near her.

"Do you want a Coke?" she asked and I loved the way she smiled back at me.

"Sure."

She slipped through the door in the back and came out with two cans.

"Did you have to call the cops this morning?" I asked before opening the lid on my sandwich.

She sat down on her stool. "No, he didn't show up."

"Well, shit. I was hoping he was sitting in jail right now."

She giggled adorably. "Shame on you," she said with a sparkle in her eyes.

"Too much honesty?" I asked, lifting an eyebrow.

"Yes…"

"Sorry but I really hate that douchebag."

She laughed again and shook her head. She picked up her sandwich about to take a bite when she stopped. "Oh, I almost forgot. I have some bad news about your starter. It's not going to get here until Monday."

"No shit? Are you trying to kill me?"

"No," she said with a cute little snicker. "I'm so sorry. They were wrong on the estimate they gave me."

"I'm going to have to go buy a helmet in order to survive driving around in Waylon's truck."

She threw her head back and laughed, her ponytail bouncing.

"It's not funny," I said, smiling.

"I know," she said still laughing. "I'm sorry."

I wanted to tell her I'd forgive her if she gave me a kiss. But instead, I took a bite of my sandwich.

We ate quietly for a moment before I popped the top on my Coke.

"So, is this like a date or something?" she asked with a timid smile, her soft brown eyes studying me.

I tried to look offended. "Of course not…You needed to eat and I needed to eat. It's purely coincidental."

Her mouth twisted as she cocked an unconvinced eyebrow at me.

"If you and I were on a date, you would know it. What are you doing tomorrow night?"

Her mouth dropped open. "What?"

"What are you doing tomorrow night? And, no, I'm not asking you out on a date. I need a chaperone."

A little crease formed in her forehead.

"Waylon asked me out."

She busted out laughing.

"It's true. He wants to take me out for some beer and bowling. I'm thinking it's because I'm the new guy in town, I live across the street from him so I'm convenient, and you did say I'm 'irresistible'," I said, trying my damnedest to give her my most charming smile.

She laughed so hard she snorted. I just grinned and watched her cheeks tinge a lovely rose color before she buried her face in her hands.

"You're not taking this seriously," I said, trying to keep a straight face but failing. I ended up chuckling with her. I loved hearing the little embarrassed giggles that kept escaping from her. "I need a chaperone to keep an eye on old Waylon. You should see how that old bird stares at me. I need someone around to make sure he keeps his hands off my ass."

She laughed so hard she had to wipe tears from her eyes. Nothing felt better than making her laugh.

She sighed and put her elbows on the counter, resting her chin on her hands as she stared at me with the sweetest smile on her lips. She looked so beautiful with her cheeks all pink and her eyes all shiny.

"I'd love to be your chaperone," she said with a soft exhale, "but I can't."

She wanted to go; I could see it in her eyes. It had to be because of her dad. I wondered if she had anyone to help her.

I frowned and, not wanting to assume, asked, "Why not?"

"I have to take care of my dad."

"He's sick, right?"

She nodded. "Who told you?"

"Aro and Ben."

Her brows furrowed as she nodded again.

"I'm sorry."

"It's okay. I told you my life was complicated."

She wasn't kidding. "What if I changed my date with Waylon to Saturday?"

She shook her head, a sad little look in her eyes. It made my heart hurt.

"Sunday?"

I frowned when she shook her head again. She must be alone in this thing. I needed to find out more about her situation with Charlie. If she couldn't go out with me, I'd just have to bring the dates to her. Maybe I could get her to fall in love with me right here in this automotive store at this very counter.

"That's okay," I said. "I just need to warn you, though, that I might be off the market after my big date – in case you were interested."

She laughed lightly. "Waylon is a catch."

I waggled my eyebrows. "I know."

She smiled and we stared at each other for a moment before her eyes dropped bashfully. She nervously picked at her sandwich before taking a bite.

"So what do you want me to bring for lunch tomorrow?" I asked before picking up a potato chip. "And this will be a date."

She stared at me for a long moment, a soft smile playing on her lips. "A date?" she asked.

"Yes, a date. What would you like to eat for our first date?"

She smiled shyly, biting softly on her lower lip. "Well…I do love Alice's mac and cheese."

I grinned. "Mac and cheese it is," I said. "And I think we need some more pie."

She nodded her mouth curving into a smile so pretty it made my heart stop for a second. "Definitely some more pie…"

On the way back to the diner with my nose buried in my bandana, I could not wipe the stupid grin off my face. Not only had my Counter Girl _not_ told me no, but that reply had seemed pretty close to a yes.


End file.
